Knowledge should not be a prison
I graduated Highschool early, attending Junior College to complete my credits. Leaving gave me a head start to higher education while working. Win/win in my book. In the end, I left college for full-time work when I could no longer afford the costs, and my life unfolded from there.
What started as a sincere and unbridled interest in knowledge developed into a new skill set. Or so I thought. I focused on how to learn vs. what to learn. For years I studied how to study. I committed things to memory using every trick I could find. Learn a subject matter as deeply as possible. It was a heady time. As it turned out, it was more about a natural talent than a skill. I just did not have a word for it.
Having a deep and powerful connection to computing technology, I locked into advanced computing systems at 11 years old, and I was allowed to do part-time work under a remarkable engineer who cultivated my interest. I corrected punch cards to earn access to a time-shared computer. Computing opened doors for the rest of my life. It also created walls, but we will cover that in a bit.
Computing technology was the core of my learning back then; Its application was the focus. Farinon Electric opened up a world to me, and I drank it in. I worked in the R&D lab, design lab, manufacturing clean room, sheet metal shop, and eventually back in the lab. In those days, each task was manual, with computing technology injected into each one. My job was to facilitate automation or design, bringing new and robust solutions to stayed and old processes. In hindsight, a perfect fit for who I was.
As I progressed through college, it was apparent to me teachers lacked the actual business innovations I used every day. Theoretical or ancient applications dominated curriculums. This contradiction eventually led me to choose to work over formal education. Little did I understand, that is what some Polymaths do.
A polymath, not unlike the “Renaissance man” idea, is something people make fun of at your expense. I never wanted to identify as a Renaissance man. The bias against it was palpable. Jack of all trades, master of none. Yet, it found me. Later in my life, people simply referred to me as a know it all, a vast warehouse of useless knowledge, or Google jr. Polymath is not a word people use. I was just a guy with access to technology and an unbridled desire to learn and learn deeply. Still, people asked if I was trying to be Leonardo in a derogatory way. That hurt.
And then, I found Dr. Angela Contellessa’s research on the matter. It spoke to me. I found her work compelling and complete. Everything she discussed talked to me and my background. Her work explains why I compete as an Entrepreneur for example. It also makes me think there are others out there who share my experiences. In effect, I am not alone. Even if I feel inside that Polymathy is a loner’s pursuit. Here is a link to her channel to hear her words. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD_ew0Ba7bj8JOcggCjzLUQ.
While I had tremendous successes in life, I couldn’t shake the working culture issues and the walls people placed to defend themselves. Once people identified, verified, and then vilified my skill, it’s hard to bounce back. Over and over again. People often moved through these stages, like grief. Of course, I try to blend in, knowing how the story plays out. But eventually, it catches up with me and the games afoot.
Associates often discovered my skill and worked hard to break it down. My friends and family love to play this game with me. Prove Stephen wrong. It’s a real sport. One that I am very accustomed too. But it’s a terrible burden at work. Especially in industries where individuals have invested their entire self worth in it. A polymath is not all-knowing, but that‘s how it’s perceived. And that begins the game. Destroy the potential value in a polymath defending their value. Which, in due course, results in the game’s validation phase.
If there was one habit I learned early in life, it was this; never speak without citations. My father hammered that into me to validate my words and ideas. This distills down to; don’t talk if you don’t know. Ironically that reinforces people’s attacks. If you only speak when you have a citation, you project authority.
Combined that habit with a wealth of knowledge, and you have a naturally made challenge. That’s how the validation phase starts. As the game progresses, individuals feel intrigued or afraid. Typically it’s fear that wins. I would not say it’s overt fear. More like a quiet understanding that I am a threat to the internal dialog a person has. One that says: “Years of work in my chosen field give me worth and protection.” The implication, and sometimes the direct conversation, is you will take my job if I don’t handicap you. Fear often manifests in a line of persistent questioning. Relentless in nature and always looking for a “fit.” Eventually, someone asks you to stay in your swimlane and be quiet. Simply put, you are scaring people. And then the vilification starts.
It’s hard to look past the game at times. At home, it’s comforting and fun. When I am wrong, and I often am, my family relishes the moment. It’s even a bonding event at times. A little frustrating, but no ill intent.
In the workplace, it’s a scorecard — a constant Q&A. Sometimes used to help find a solution, sometimes just to verify my statements when outside of perceived expertise. Computers, specifically Google, help shield a Polymath from the worst of criticisms. But not for long. Eventually, the game progresses to the “it can’t be possible” game. Then every question is driven to catch you in a lie or misinformation. Couple that with a good memory, especially on written facts, and you have a perfect framework for Jeopardy at work. Ironically, no matter how often a Polymath says I don’t know, people say you know everything, and perception becomes reality.
What does become apparent is how relationships and industry networks protect those who serve well. Tenure pays dividends to those who stay the course. Keep in the swimlane, and speak to one knowledge. Ph.D. graduates exemplify this rationale. Which generally ends the game. A victor who chooses to throw the baby out with the bathwater saving themselves from downing in competition across a wide field of knowledge. There is no doubt a Polymath is no match for a Ph.D. in any given area. And that’s the problem. Our world values that deep knowledge over any well applied broad knowledge. And, we are equally unemployable in most cases.
I am privileged to have people in my life who see what I can do and worked past vilification into acceptance. Ironically a few beautiful people in Industry and the University California Berkely recognized my skill and put me to work. I have had the privilege of working in a place I could not possibly have graduated from given the culture, my background, and my skill.
Why write this story now? Because I have a story to tell. I strive to learn about the world around me and myself. It’s a constant drive that has nothing to do with external forces. It’s how I discovered Dr. Angela Contellessa’s research and found some comfort in her content. It’s also because I just left a job where only a few people understood my talent. I am looking for new work, and people can’t see what I’ve done due to my varied background across many industries and knowledge sets.
So, while this is a downer of a post, it ends on a positive note. I am no longer ashamed and hiding. While I don’t care for the problems this ability creates, I don’t blame it for my lack of comfort or short term success. I am learning to stop validating or vilifying myself. I want to help others on the journey. I don’t know where to start, but I think it comes from clarity and compassion. I hurt myself and others by disavowing who I am and what I can do in the hope it makes others feel better and more accepting. While it’s likely a lonely path, it’s a journey I am ready to take.
Some links to Polymath information; I seem to be a natural Polymath and many sites seem to advocate learning to be one.